at the jump

February 26, 2019

Seven days until this is all just something that happened. After that, it is plane rides and a backpack, Australian sunshine and hitching around, a sort of openness, wider skies for things to grow. Ten months here and now on the cusp of a whole lot of gone. I’m not sure if the time went too slowly or too quick, if I felt too much or not enough, if I got what I wanted or just what I needed, if things happened in the wrong order or fell together perfectly.

(Kidding, I always believe everything comes in the right order at the right time)

Here is what I know: You must not live a life that is not yours.

And there’s a fucking mountain of wonderful in this life here. It’s been beautiful and it’s been good.

But it’s not mine.

So here I go.

So it goes. It goes on. Amen.

I teach myself how to jump. I teach myself over and over again. They say pull not push—the trick is to be pulled forward. Push just wears you thin. So I allow myself to be pulled. I believe in the order of things. I believe in my gut. There is courage somewhere in me and it comes through. Ready or not, here I go.

These days: Time in the snow. Soaking up time with people I adore. Laughing a lot, shaking with emotion, feeling a whole lotta love, trying to speak my mind, trying to feel everything while it’s still here, trying to let people know I’m grateful.

So I’m grateful. Thank you all for the world. Thank the world for all of you.

And now I go.